Something Like Olivia
by Mackieluv23
Summary: A love triangle between Olivia, Elliot and David. Takes place at the start of season 14 if Elliot had stayed.
1. Chapter 1

Something Like Olivia

Law and Order: SVU Fan Fiction

Chapter 1: If Happy Ever After Did Exist I Would Still Be Holding You Like This

"Elliot put his papers in". The words poured out of Cragen's mouth as if the whole world was in slow motion. He was gone. It was a hard concept for Olivia to grasp. For thirteen years they had been partners and now he was gone, no goodbye, no warning just gone. Liv didn't know whether to cry or scream. So she just closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Right, um, okay …yeah…wow…" Olivia whispered.

"You have sometime coming up, why don't you take it?"

"I am fine. I just need a second." She turned toward the door and began to leave.

"Liv, I am sorry." Cragen's eyes looked as if he, too, were hoping this was all a big joke.

"It's not your fault, I did this."

"You can't blame yourself for this."

"Yeah, I can." She said as she left the office.

Olivia knew she was fully to blame for Elliot's untimely departure. The shooting at the precinct was just a convenient escape but, Liv knew better.

Late one Friday night Olivia was driving Elliot home after solving a tough human trafficking case. Olivia had been undercover as a Russian prostitute for over a week and she had seen it all. Elliot spent the length of the case as her pimp. They were both ready for a break.

"Hey, how about a celebratory night cap?" Elliot offered.

"I don't know I am just ready to sleep in my own bed."

"Come on, I am not ready to go home yet. Kathy is going to have my balls in a vice for not calling her to check in and I need to be mentally prepared.

"Okay, fine. One drink that's it. I guess we deserve it." Olivia replied.

They ended up getting into a game of pool at the bar with two other officers from the one seven. Three hours and an undetermined amount of alcohol later the bartender called them a cab to share. They stumbled out of the bar, giggling and barely holding each other up. The cab driver parked on the street in front of Liv's apartment building.

"You should come in and sober up. You can't go home this drunk. Kathy will kill you." Olivia rambled as she poured out of the cab still dressed in her undercover wear. Elliot nodded and followed her up the three flights of stairs. Olivia tripped over her four inch heels and fell down three stairs.

"Oh shit." She giggled and stumbled to her feet pulling down her shirt length black dress.

"You need to move somewhere with an elevator." Stabler joked as they fell into the door. They both giggled.

"I need to shower. Then to sleep this off Cragen will not be pleased if we show up hung over. Liv said as she took off her tight dress. She stood in front of Elliot in her bra and panties.

"Wow." He said under his breath.

"What?" she asked as she reached into the hamper in search of a towel.

"Nothing, I just…you look hot."

"You are drunk."

"I am not. Come here." He summoned her to the couch where he sat.

"What?" She stood by the couch. "Oh Jesus." He pulled her into his lap and began to kiss her neck. "What are you doing?" She whispered but, not resisting.

"What we have both wanted to do for thirteen years." He replied moving to her hooker red lips.

They both stood up and walked toward Olivia's bedroom. She unbuttoned his shirt and slipped it off. His pants were the next thing to go. They fell onto the bed still making out. It all seemed so perfect. For the next hour everything was right with the world.

Olivia woke up the next morning with the worst hangover she'd had since college. The clock on her night stand read 7:45 but, that clock was an hour ahead. She closed her eyes and rolled over. Unable to get comfortable she opened her eyes again.

"Holy Shit." She whispered when she made eye contact with a sleeping Elliot Stabler. She slipped out of bed and made a mad dash into the bathroom. Grabbing whatever clothes were on the floor. "Oh my God. What did I do?" She looked at herself in the mirror and then looked away unable to bear the sight of her own reflection. She couldn't remember what happened the night before. Judging by her complete lack of clothing she did her best to assume.

She got herself dressed for work and grabbed her gun. She then tip toed through her bedroom and out the front door.

"Shit!" She shouted throughout the lobby when she realized her car was still at the bar. "Could this day get any worse?" She asked as she searched her pockets for her cell phone. "Left that upstairs didn't you, Liv? Stupid, Stupid, Stupid!" She decided to go outside and hail a cab the old fashioned way even if it was pouring down rain. She went to grab her badge in order to help her get a taxi but, she of course forgot that too. After four different cab drivers completely ignored her, Liv opened her jacket and let the rain fall on her white shirt. A cab came screeching toward her. "Works every time." She whispered to herself.

"Hey sweet thang. Where can I take you?" The cabbie from the night before pulled up. "Usually you working girls sleep in."

"What makes you think I am a working girl?" Olivia said as she slid cautiously into the backseat.

"Last night I drove you and a well off gentleman home from a bar."

"Really? Well why don't you take me back to that bar." She replied flashing her badge in the rearview mirror.

"Oh right. Sorry about that officer."

After riding for half an hour, in rush hour traffic, to a bar that turned out be 6 blocks away from her apartment Olivia just wanted to crawl back into bed and start this whole day over. But, instead she had to make her way home to get her cell phone and her badge.

Chapter 2: I Never Thought We'd Have a Last Kiss

She got back to her apartment ten minutes later and opened the door slowly.

"El, you still here?" she said. Thankfully there was no answer she grabbed her badge and her cell.

She was on her way out the door and on to the precinct when there was a quiet knock at the door. She swung the door open praying it was not Elliot behind the door.

"Hey, can we talk?" Assistant District Attorney David Hayden stood before her sopping wet.

"Um… yeah… but can we make it quick. Cragen has been on my ass about my tardiness for weeks." She showed him to couch and grabbed a towel from the bathroom.

"Thanks. Okay I don't exactly know where to start. Wow this is a lot more nerve racking than I had previously anticipated" He reached into his jacket pocket.

"What are you doing?" Olivia whispered as she slid away from him.

"Olivia Benson, these past five months have been the happiest, most exciting of my life. Spending time with you makes me unable to stop smiling like a dope. You are damaged and crazy and high strung and controlling and perfect. You are the love of my life. Every awful date and terrible break up has been erased from my memory. It's just you now. So… Liv, will you do me the honor of …"

"Please, don't, I slept with Elliot."

"Oh, um…. Wow… Okay… I, I have to go." He stood and walked toward the door.

"David, wait, please can we talk about this?"

"Um, No, I would like to keep what is left of my dignity."

"Wait, please it didn't mean anything!" She stood and threw the towel on the ground.

"Really? Because you cheated on me. You realize that don't you? I was faithful to you; I loved you and you… you cheated on me. You don't get to feel okay about this!" David raised his voice for the first time in their entire relationship.

"I tried, David. I am sorry but, I cannot change what has already happened. All I can do is apologize." She pleaded.

"This is not something I can pretend never happened. I risked my career to be with you because you were it, I was done." He leaned against the front door of Olivia's apartment.

"I made a mistake. It was a drunken stupid mistake that I will regret for the rest of my life. " She wiped some tears from her cheeks. She placed her hands on his face. "I know right now you hate me. But, I just need to know that you are going to be able to forgive me."

"Liv, I love you so much. I am going to try to forgive you but, how can I ever expect to trust you again." He walked out the door leaving her in tears alone.

Olivia had never expected her life to turn out the way it had. With her family history she never thought anyone would ever love her. And now she stood between a man and his family and a man and his job. Was she making the right choice?

Chapter 3: How Do You Get Up From an All Time Low?

On her way to the precinct, Liv got a text from Cragen about a case in Chelsea. When she arrived everything seemed different. Yes, it was a case. Yes, Munch and Finn were there and yes, it was a rape/murder case. However, it was different or maybe she was different.

"What do we have?" She asked Munch as she jumped out her car.

"Not a lot. Angela Belvedere, Nineteen years old, Hudson University sophomore, last seen with her best friend, A Nikki Simpson." He said as they headed toward the body.

"Where's El?" She asked.

"I am sure you would have better idea then I." He answered.

"What? Why would I know?" Olivia stopped dead in her tracks.

"You know what I mean. You guys usually ride together."

"Oh right, of course. That completely makes sense." Olivia answered as she looked around.

"I thought I was the paranoid one"

"Ha Ha, yeah, I know." She attempted to play it off.

"Warner ruled it a homicide and all the trace evidence was washed away by the Hudson." Finn said as he approached Liv and Munch.

"Um, okay let's get back to the one six and see what Cragen has to say about this." Olivia said as she headed toward her car.

"Liv, Elliot is the lead detective on this case." Finn said as he put on his sunglasses.

"Of course he is." Liv whispered to herself as she got in her car.

Chapter 4: The Silence is Slowly Killing Me

The team arrived at the precinct about fifteen minutes later and Stabler was already posting the evidence on the large computer screen in the middle of the precinct.

"So, here's all the information we have." He said keeping his back toward the group. His intent to shut out Olivia was obvious to her and she feared to all of their co-workers.

"Okay, Munch and Finn you go to Hudson and talk everyone, her teachers, friends, roommates; anyone who might know anything about our mystery girl. Elliot, you take Rollins and go see what Warner has for us. Liv, Can I see you in my office?" Cragen rattled off assignments as he did for every case. It was at that moment Olivia knew she was in trouble; getting called into Cragen's office never ended well for her. Every piece of bad news she had ever received whilst working SVU was given to her by Captain Cragen.

"You wanted to see me, Captain?" She said walking into his office making a conscious effort not to seem alarmed.

"Yeah, close the door." He said as he leaned on his desk. Olivia shut the door quietly as to ensure no attention was brought to the office. "It has come to my attention that there is a romance brewing in the precinct." He said almost sarcastically. Olivia knew it was time to put her high school acting classes to work. She put on her most over the top shocked look and gasped ever so slightly. "Oh, so you hadn't heard anything?"

"No, nothing at all. Why would I hear anything?" She responded as if she were one of her own perps ready to spill their guts in interrogation.

"I just thought everyone had heard. Usually by the time something gets to me it is old news for everyone else."

"Well, not this time, Sir. So, um, what have you heard?" Olivia said trying to shift the focus away from her terrible acting.

"It seems Rollins and Amaro have something going on. I have not noticed anything myself but, I know everyone likes to open up to you." Cragen said as he chewed on a stick of bright red licorice.

"I can assure you nobody has confided in me. If they do I will be sure to let you know." She rubbed her hands together as she always did when she was nervous.

"Good. If this gets to the 1PP then, Internal Affairs will be all over us. They will start investigating every one of our partnerships since the beginning of time. I know you and El will be one of the first pairs on the chopping block." He said nonchalantly.

"What? Why us?" Liv's paranoia spiked again.

"Well, you two are our only other co-ed partnership. Plus, you fight like a married couple." Captain joked.

"Oh, ha ha, yeah. I will let you know if I hear anything. I better get to Hudson." She said as she walked out the door.

"Liv, wait, I sent Elliot to Warner's office." Cragen followed her to her desk.

"Right, I just thought Munch and Finn can use me to help with taking statements, you know?" She put her coat on and grabbed her car keys.

"Good thinking."

Liv breathed a sigh of relief as she pressed the button and boarded the elevator. She couldn't keep avoiding him but, it seemed to be the only way to keep her calm and not end up in the back of a squad car herself.

Chapter 5: Promise You'll Be Careful With My Heart

Olivia drove her black Mustang with every intention of arriving at Hudson University. However, her mind began to wander. Before she knew it she found herself sitting on David Hayden's desk. She had no idea was she was going to say to him. Before she had time to come up with a plan David walked in reading a newspaper.

"Holy crap, Olivia, what the hell are you doing?" He jumped when he say her sitting there.

"Honestly, I don't really know." She shifted her position on the desk. "All I know is I needed to see you and apologize and try to fix this." She tucked her hair behind her ear. David loved when she did that.

"Are you trying to seduce me?" He asked as he closed the blinds in his office.

"Well…. Not really but, is it working?" She asked as she crossed her arms in a way that accentuated her breasts.

David smiled, cleared his throat and stood in front of Olivia. He looked into her eyes as if they told a sad story. He leaned in and kissed her lips. She soon pushed him back gently and whispered to in his ear.

"We can't just ignore this."

"Yes we can. I was thinking about it and I am almost glad this happened so you could get it out of your system. I can forgive you if you promise me it is over with Elliot."

"I promise. It will never happen again. It is completely out of my system." She said grabbing his belt and pulling him closer to her. As they undressed Olivia started giggling.

"What are you laughing at?" David asked self-consciously.

"Oh not you! I just have never had office sex before." She admitted.

"Well I promise you are very good hands." She said as he lifted her onto his desk.

After they finished with their mid-morning fun Olivia looked at her watch.

"Oh shit! I am supposed to be on a case! I really have to go." She threw on her clothes making sure not to look askew.

"Liv, wait!"

"What? I am going to be in so much trouble"

"First of all, you have a terrible case of sex hair and second of all, you won't get into trouble if you were called to court by the DA's office." He said as he laughed and got dressed.

Olivia smiled and threw her hair into a ponytail.

"Well I still better hurry just in case. Is this better?" she asked pointing to her head.

"Much." He kissed her lips as if he had been doing it for years and would be doing it forever. Olivia knew at that moment she had made the right choice and she was never looking back.

Chapter 6: It's Always Darkest Before the Dawn

Olivia rushed into the precinct an hour later.

"Where the hell have you been?" Cragen shouted upon her return.

"I got called to court by ADA Hayden. He needed my help with a victim." She lied as she put her things in her locker.

"Oh, really? Well, you can explain why he would call you out of all of the NYPD detectives to help with a case you had nothing to do with after I return from my press conference. For now you stay on your desk." He said as he walked toward the door.

"You're giving me desk duty? For what?" Olivia shouted.

"You are not going to cost me a conviction due to your obvious lack of focus. Get your head out of your ass and do your job, Olivia!" he responded much louder than she ever could.

"Whatever." She said under her breath.

"Two days suspension? Is that what you said, Benson?" He rushed toward her desk.

"No… I just wanted to … I mean… I just don't understand why?" She stuttered as she sat down at her desk.

"We will talk about this later."

"Yes, Sir." Cragen walked away leaving the entire squad room to stare at her.

"Alright back to work, nothing to see here, let's go." Stabler shouted as he attempted to detract attention away from the altercation. He sat on Olivia's desk and leaned close.

"Thanks." She whispered.

"No problem. Is there anything I should know about?"

"I am not even sure what he is ranting about. If I figure it out you will be the first to know."

"Promise?"

"Promise."


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 7: She's a Brick and I'm Drowning Slowly

Olivia stepped outside of the squad room about 25 minutes later when she got a phone call from David.

"ADA Hayden, How may I help you?" She answered as she stood to go outside.

"Can you talk?"

"Yeah, only for a second though, Cragen is on my ass about something he put me on desk duty and then just up and left , no explanation, nothing. It's ridiculous."

"Actually, it's not ridiculous… I think we may have been found out."

"What? By who?"

"One of my interns but, we have to deny it. Right? Or should we come clean? I don't know what to do."

"No, I am not ready for that yet. We said we were going to take this slowly and I intend to do just that. So what's the plan?"

"We tell them we were discussing a personal matter. That's why the shades were drawn."

"What kind of a personal matter?"

"Um… Simon… your brother and his case."

"Yeah, okay perfect… I have to go I will call you later."

"Kay, I love you."

"David, is that what you call taking it slowly."

"Sorry, dinner at my place tonight?"

"Definitely, Bye"

She hung up the phone and turned to find Elliot standing behind her.

"How long have you been standing there?" She asked as she shoved her phone in her pocket.

"Long enough to know why I woke up this morning at your apartment alone." He whispered as he moved closer to her. "You are sleeping with David. Do you have any idea how much trouble you can get in for this?"

"First of all, I am not sleeping with him, I slept with you, I am in love with him. El, this is the real thing." She placed her hand on his well chiseled arm.

"Liv, we are the real thing. Us. Thirteen years of going through everything together. Do you think you can just ignore what we have?"

"We can't have anything. You are married and we are partners and I am… well… I am done waiting for you." She looked at the ground below her feet.

"I left Kathy… last week… I left." He said as he leaned against the window sill.

"You did what? Why would you do that?" Her eyes shot up to meet his.

"For you. And me. For both of us." He put his hand on her cheek. She smiled.

"No… El I can't do this not now. My life is finally normal. I am no longer just a rapist daughter or the daughter of a falling over drunk or the overly attached SVU detective. I am finally loved."

"You, Olivia Benson, will never be normal. You are the daughter of a rapist and a falling over drunk and you do get too attached and that is why I, Elliot Stabler, love you and have loved you for thirteen years." He looked around and leaned in for a kiss. They lingered in that kiss for what seemed like forever. Olivia pushed him away.

"I can't do this right now, Elliot. I have to go." She walked toward her desk. When she got there she realized she couldn't sit across from him for the rest of the day. She grabbed her coat and walked out the door.

Chapter 8: I'm Lost, Broken Down the Middle Of My Heart

_Is everything completely ruined?_ Olivia thought as she walked down the busy Manhattan street. She just needed a break from all of the chaos. She walked 20 blocks before she looked at her watch and knew she needed to get back to the precinct for her meeting with Cragen.

"Where the hell have you been? Cragen is fuming!" Munch said as he saw her getting in to the elevator.

"Really? I just went for a walk. Why are my whereabouts suddenly a matter of public concern?" She asked as she pushed the close door button repeatedly.

"Olivia, Elliot, my office right now!" Cragen shouted as soon as she crossed the threshold. Olivia took a deep breath and shut the door to Cragen's office behind her.

"Yes, Captain." She said with a smile.

"I heard some unsettling rumors about you and ADA David Hayden and I wanted to give you a chance to explain yourself before I went to IAB." He said as he sat on the edge of his desk.

"Well, I don't know what you've heard but, I can assure you there is nothing to explain."

"You were spotted in ADA Hayden's office with the shades drawn and you stayed for at least half an hour. When you left you were askew as my source puts it. How do you explain that?"

"I requested David's assistance on a personal matter." She lied carefully.

"Really? And what personal matter is that?" He asked skeptically.

"My brother, Simon, David is working to get him a deal on his kidnapping charge." She responded.

"Elliot, do you know anything about this?" Cragen turned to Elliot who up until then stood quietly. Elliot looked at Olivia and crossed his arms.

"Uh… yeah, I knew." He lied.

"That better be all that is going on, Benson. If I find out that you lied to me I will report you to IAB immediately and they will take your shield and your pension. No questions asked. Am I making myself clear?"

"Yes, Sir." She answered.

"And Stabler, if she goes down your going down with her."

"Yes, Cap'n. Now we're going to go interview the parents of Angela Belvedere." He said as he and Olivia walked out the door.

They stayed silent until they were safely tucked away in their squad car. Elliot sat with the keys in his hands but, not starting the car.

"You shouldn't have lied for me." Olivia said. He didn't respond. 'I mean… I am glad you did but, you didn't have to." He looked at her the same way he had for thirteen years and yet, differently.

"You deserve to be happy. It doesn't matter to me who you're with I just want you to be happy." He said quietly as he rubbed his eyes with his hand. Olivia tucked her hair behind her ear like she did whenever she was thinking. She closed her eyes and kissed him. When she opened her eyes she saw Elliot's face turn quickly from shock to joy.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" He asked.

"I am not sure about anything anymore." She said as she kissed him again and unbuttoned his shirt. Conveniently, the windows fogged around them just as things got raunchy.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 8: It's Too Cold Outside, For Angels To Fly

**AUTHOR'S NOTE: I AM SO GLAD EVERYONE IS ENJOYING MY FIRST STORY SO MUCH. THANKS SO MUCH FOR THE REVIEWS AND KEEP THEM COMING. THIS NEXT CHAPTER IS PRETTY SHORT BUT, I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME INFO ON TH E CASE THEY ARE WORKING RIGHT NOW SO IT IS NOT ALL ABOUT LIV'S LOVE LIFE. ENJOY!**

As Olivia and Elliot arrived, later then they had expected, at home of Angela Belvedere. It was a picturesque little brownstone on the Upper East Side. Elliot rang the doorbell. A house keeper answered the door.

"I am detective Olivia Benson Manhattan Special Victims Unit. This is my partner Detective Stabler. We need to speak with Mr. and Mrs. Belvedere." She held up her badge.

"No Habla." The maid clearly only spoke Spanish.

"Tenemos que hablar con el señor y la señora de Belvedere, por favor." Olivia repeated in Spanish. The maid first looked very surprised then nodded quickly and invited them inside the house.

"This is not a house, this place is bigger than the Playboy mansion." Elliot whispered as they stood in the large foyer.

"Oh yeah, 'cause you spend so much time at the Playboy Mansion." Olivia joked in return.

"Hey, I watch E! I have seen the Girls Next Door. I am hip." Elliot responded. Olivia chuckled and looked at the ground.

"Too bad that show ended like four years ago. But, keep thinking your all 'hip', Champ." As she finished laughing at Elliot the Belvedere's entered hand in hand. Mrs. Belvedere choked back sobs and Mr. Belvedere appeared rather calm.

"Hello, you must be the SVU detectives. Charles Belvedere and this is my wife, Alexandra." Mr. Belvedere said extending his hand to Elliot.

"Yes, Detective Elliot Stabler and my partner Detective Olivia Benson. We are very sorry for your loss." He responded as he shook his hand. "We have some questions for you."

"Well, you have our full cooperation. Anything we can do to help catch the bastard who did this to our daughter." Charles led them into the sitting room.

"So do you have any enemies who might want to hurt you or your family?" Elliot asked as he opened his notebook.

"Well, I…" Alexandra tried to speak but, Charles quickly cut her off.

"Detective Stabler, I am a very successful man. Any man of my power has enemies. But, I cannot think of anyone who would do this." Liv was now skeptical and she knew she needed to get Alexandra away from her husband. She knew that they were hiding something. Olivia began to clear her throat and cough.

"Excuse me, Mrs. Belvedere, could I trouble you for a glass of water?" She asked weakly.

"Of course, right this way, Detective Benson." She stood and walked toward the kitchen.

"Please, call me Olivia" Liv said as they entered the kitchen. Alexandra handed her a bottle of Voss water. Olivia took a sip cautiously; she was used to plain old tap water. "So, I noticed you were trying to talk in there. Do you know who did this to your daughter?"

"I don't know for sure but, I think you need to talk to my husband's business partner, Maxwell Calloway." She replied as she leaned in closely to Olivia. Elliot and Charles were coming around the corner.

"Here is my card. Call me if you need anything at all." Olivia passed her card on the Alexandra. She nodded as the men walked in.

"Okay, thank you both for your help. Please give us a call if you think of anything else. We will be in touch. We can see ourselves out." Elliot said and smiled. They walked toward their car.

"Well, that was pointless. Where are we going to go with no leads?" Elliot asked. Olivia laughed. "What could possibly be funny right now?"

"Do you know me at all? I was with that woman for three minutes and she sang like a canary. We need to go have a chat with Maxwell Calloway." Olivia put on her sunglasses and felt like a total bad ass.

"Nicely done, Benson."

"Thanks, El."


	4. Chapter 4

AUTHOR'S NOTE: SORRY IT'S BEEN SO LONG EVERYBODY BUT, NOW I HAVE AN EXTRA LONG CHUNK FOR YOU GUYS TO READ. THIS IS WAS AN INTERESTING PART FOR ME TO WRITE SO I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKE IT. I ALSO HOPE YOU LIVID FANS DON'T HATE ME ONCE YOU FINISH READING. ENJOY

Chapter 9: I Won't Rest Until You're Mine

Things with the Belvedere case were pretty solid and so Cragen decided the Calloway interview could wait until morning. He sent the SVU gang home for the night at eight thirty. Olivia knew that David would be waiting for her to call. Just as she was opening her car door she felt a hand on her shoulder. Olivia pulled out her gun and spun around in one quick movement.

"Woah! Calm down! It's just me." David said as he threw his hands in the air.

"David, are you crazy? You can't sneak up on an armed cop like that." Olivia sighed and returned her gun to its holster. As she gave him a kiss all the memories of her afternoon and the previous evening with Elliot came flooding back. She pulled away.

"What's wrong?" He asked when he noticed her hesitation.

"What? Nothing. I am fine. Should we get something to eat?" She changed the subject as quickly as she could.

"Yeah, sure I know a great little bistro around the corner." David replied skeptically.

"How about we go back to my place and order Chinese instead?" Olivia just wanted to put on her yoga pants, throw her hair in a ponytail and veg-out in from of the television.

"Oh, I like that idea." David winked. They both climbed into Olivia's car. She immediately turned on the radio in an attempt to lessen the conversation. She knew that if David found out about Elliot it would be over for good and she didn't know if she was ready for this to end.

"Liv, is there something going on with you?" David said as he turned down the nearly blaring radio.

"No, what makes you think that?"

"Well, we have been dating for five months now and I have never heard you play the radio in the car, which leads me to believe you are avoiding a conversation."

"I just… I had a long a day and I am not in the mood to talk." Olivia lied to him. She hated having to lie to anyone, especially to David.

"Pull over. We need to talk whether you feel like talking or not we need to talk." David took a stern tone with her for the second time in the past thirteen hours. She pulled over and turned the car off.

"What is it that we must talk about right this minute?" She asked sarcastically. There was a long silence betwixt them.

"I saw you and Elliot today… In the car. I am not sure what to say except why?" David said after a while. Olivia rubbed her hands together and looked down. Her eyes looked sad but, she didn't cry. She bit the inside of her cheek.

"I…" She stopped, tucked her hair behind her hair and turned to face him. "He is him and I am me. We have been us for thirteen years. It is hard to explain." She tried to explain but, when she looked into David's eyes all she saw was confusion. She looked at the engagement ring he had given her earlier that morning. _Engaged and unengaged all in the course of a day that must be a new record _she thought to herself as she wiggled the ring off her finger. She looked at it for a second and then put it in David's hand.

"What is this for?" He asked looking at the ring as if it were from another planet.

"I am giving it back. We are done. I cheated on you twice today. What's more is I can't promise it won't happen again. I can't truly be free to love someone unless I give this thing with El a try."

David looked sad at first but, then he began to laugh.

"What's so funny?" Olivia asked genuinely confused.

"Do you remember when I asked you out?" he asked still laughing. Olivia nodded carefully. "And you said you didn't commit well and we could never be in a relationship for an extended time." She nodded again. "And then I said you and Elliot had been partners for thirteen years so obviously you could commit. It is ironic now." At that point he was laughing hysterically.

Olivia looked at him silently. She had never seen anything so crazy in her life. And she thought she had seen it all. Finally he stopped laughing. He kissed her forehead and got out of the car, leaving Olivia alone to wonder if she had just made the biggest mistake of her life.

Chapter 10: I Would Lie and Say That You're Not On My Mind

It was 3:30 in the morning when Olivia finally gave up on getting any sleep that night. Her mind had been racing all night. She replayed her and David's relationship in her head over and over again trying to figure out what was missing.

She grabbed her coat and decided to go for a walk. The night was brisk but, not exactly cold. In fact, it had been one of the warmest January's the city had ever seen. It seemed to be at the peak of darkness as she wandered the streets without aim. Even after nearly two decades of being an officer, Olivia still trusted and loved the city of New York.

Her mind began to wander and Olivia barely noticed the sound of footsteps behind her. She attempted to look at the person following her without seeming too suspicious. Soon the steps got closer and then closer still until the person was right behind her, breathing down her neck. She whipped around and attempted to defend herself. When she failed the assailant grabbed her by the throat and pinned her to the ground. He hit her head repeatedly against the gray concrete until she was floating in and out of consciousness. She kicked her legs and tried to scream but, he pinned her legs with his knees and muffled her screams with his hand. He pulled her into the dark alley next to her grocery store. He whipped a knife out of his pocket and held it to her throat.

"If you scream one more time I will kill you. I am not kidding I have nothing left to live for I don't need to keep you alive." He whispered aggressively in her ear. As he pulled her jeans off she thought of every single piece of DNA she could get from him. She scratched his arms with all of her power causing him to bleed all over her shirt. He forced himself inside of her quickly. She took solace in knowing he wasn't wearing a condom. This guy wanted to be caught and she was going to get him. All she needed to do was survive. When he was finished he cut the knife in a zig-zag across her cheek.

"Why? Why are you doing this to me?" Olivia cried as he stood over her weak body.

"Because this is how cheating whores should be treated." He said.

At that moment she realized she knew her rapist. The man she had loved and whose feelings she worked every day to protect. She gaged at the thought of his innocent looking face.

"David?" She whispered as tears poured down her face and mixed with her blood.

He kicked her on to her stomach and told her to count to 300 before moving. He ripped her t-shirt off and shoved it into a plastic bag. There went the only DNA evidence she had. When Olivia refused to begin counting he kicked her in between the ribs causing her to gasp for air. Once she caught her breath she began to count crying with every word. She stopped at one hundred and used the garbage can next to her to stand up. She immediately fell back down. As she lay in the alley covered in blood, she looked up and saw the sun begin to rise and she wondered if anyone would even notice she was gone.

It was at that point that she used all of her strength to stand. She limped the three blocks back to her apartment. She dragged her weak body up the multiple flights of stairs and inside the door. The bathroom was the same pale shade of white it had always been however, it seemed so much brighter. The light began to sting her barely open eyes. She took off what was left of her clothing and stood staring at her running shower. Nobody would believe her if she said her boyfriend, an assistant District Attorney for the state of New York, raped her. She had no evidence, no witnesses, nothing. She stepped into the shower and cried as she let the water run over her body. Soon she fell to the ground sobbing uncontrollably. She felt a piercing pain in her side and winced as she stood. Olivia knew she could never tell anyone about what happened that night but, she also knew that at least one of her ribs was broken. She finished showering, got dressed and headed for the hospital thinking of the perfect story to tell the doctor the entire ride to Mercy General.

Chapter 12: She Dreamed of Paradise Every Time She Closed Her Eyes

Elliot awoke late that day and immediately called Olivia's cell. When she didn't answer he left a message.

"Liv, come on I know you want to talk to me. We need to talk about us. I love you and that is never going to change. I guess we can talk at work." He smiled when he hung up. He loved how stubborn she was.

Elliot drove to work as quickly as he could. He couldn't wait to see her. When he walked into the precinct he saw her sitting at her desk. Her face was cover in bruises and she had four stiches in her forehead. Her left arm was in a hot pink cast. Elliot was about to run over and give her a hug when somebody grabbed him by the arm.

After a huge struggle he found himself in Cragen's office.

"What happened to her?" Elliot asked when he finally caught his breath.

"She told me she fell down her apartment stairs while carrying some things to her car." Cragen said skeptically.

"No, look at her! You don't get those kinds of injuries from falling down the stairs. She is lying!" Elliot said in a stern whisper.

"Stabler, I know that but, we can't make her talk. She is obviously protecting someone or too proud to admit something else happened." He said trying to calm Elliot down. "I trust you to figure out what happened and as soon as possible. She needs some she can trust to confide in. I am also requiring everyone in the precinct to be evaluated by Huang. Maybe something will come out there."

"Yeah. Okay but, what do I say to her. She will not like it if I treat her like a victim."

"No, she won't. So just pretend nothing happened. Don't even mention it at first. Let her bring it up in her own time."

Elliot nodded and took a deep breath before walking back towards his desk.

"Hey." He said.

"Hey." She said smiling at him. She seemed fine which was a scary thing for Liv to seem.


	5. Chapter 5

AUTHOR'S NOTE: ONCE AGAIN I AM SORRY THAT THIS TOOK SO LONG TO GET POSTED BUT, IT IS A REALLY LONG CHAPTER SO I HOPE THAT HELPS. I AM GLAD YOU GUYS ARE STILL READING. KEEP THE REVIEWS COMING. THEY REALLY HELP ME TO GAGE WHERE THE STORY SHOULD GO NEXT. PS SORRY ABOUT ANY SPELLING/GRAMMER ERRORS. ENJOY!

Chapter 13: Life's Too Short To Even Care At All

Olivia and Elliot spent much of that morning parked outside the home of Maxwell Calloway in complete silence. It was agonizing all Olivia wanted to do was tell Elliot everything and have him hold her why she cried.

"Do you want to talk?" Elliot finally asked. _Yes, I would love too._ Olivia thought.

"About what?" She said trying to seem oblivious.

"You and I both know you don't get bruises and cuts on your face and a broken arm from falling down the stairs. I want you to tell me what really happened." Elliot decided the whole wait for her to bring it up thing would take too long.

"I told Cragen exactly what happened and I am sure he told you. It was a freak accident nothing more." Olivia lied hoping Elliot would just drop it.

"Liv, I have known you for thirteen years. I know everything about you and I handle it. You and I tell each other everything. That is why we are so in sync with one another. Why can't you tell me what happened last night?" He tried to appeal to her emotions.

"You don't know everything about me." Olivia sassed as she read her e-mails on her IPhone.

"Okay. Fine just know that I am here for you." He said.

"Yeah, I know, El." She looked in his eyes and tears began to pool in hers. "Are you kidding me?" She said under breath as she read an e-mail from Cragen.

"What?" Elliot said pretending not to know anything.

"Random psych evals start today." She said quickly realizing that it sounded suspicious for her to be angry. "I mean it's just so inconvenient when we are working a case you know?" Elliot nodded.

"There he is. That's Calloway. Let's go interview him." Olivia said changing the subject. They both jumped out of the car and jogged across the busy street.

"Mr. Calloway, NYPD. Can we have a word with you?" Olivia took the lead.

"Um, I have a meeting to get to can this wait?" He answered as he waved down the buildings door man.

"No, it can't we need to take you down to the precinct and ask you some questions." Elliot said quietly.

"Unless you want to go to prison for murder. It's really up to you." Olivia shouted in order to draw attention. Multiple people stopped dead in their tracks around them.

"Okay, fine. Just be quiet."

They drove to the one six and threw Calloway into an interview room. Olivia and Elliot waited for Cragen's orders.

"Elliot go ahead and do your evaluation with Huang and then meet Liv in the interview room. Liv you head in and try and get a confession. We need it for a solid conviction." Cragen said. Olivia nodded and went towards the locker room. She needed to put her gun in her locker. While she was gone, Elliot followed Cragen into his office.

"Captain, you can't let her in there alone."

"I know what I am doing, Stabler."

"Something happened to her and she is not herself. She is a liability."

"You can't treat her like a victim when we have no idea what happened."

"I know that somebody did that to her. If you let her in there alone she might do something that we will all regret." Stabler yelled at Cragen. "I am sorry, Sir. I am just worried about her."

"Let me worry about her. You go do your evaluation." Stabler nodded and left the office.

Meanwhile Liv stood outside the interview room. She didn't really know what she was going to say. She thought about Angela Belvedere. Alone, scared and hurting; just like she felt the night before. She stared at Maxwell Calloway for fifteen minutes. Elliot came up behind her and tapped her shoulder. Olivia turned and swung a punch at him. Elliot ducked and she hit the wall behind him. They both stood awe-struck. Olivia's hand was bleeding all over the floor but nobody moved.

Suddenly, Cragen and Huang wandered into the room.

"What is going on in here?" He shouted.

"Nothing." Elliot said after a long pause. "I opened the door and hit her into the wall. It was an accident." He continued. Olivia didn't speak. She didn't move and everyone in the room knew that look. PTSD ran rampant in the NYPD and Olivia had been diagnosed four years before. _Was this a relapse or was she going to finally talk about the previous evening? _Elliot thought to himself. He took Liv to get her hand cleaned up. She would likely need stitches but, for now she just wanted to sink a conviction. Four towels and an ace bandage later she was ready to talk to Calloway. She went to open the door when Elliot stopped her.

"Wait, are you sure you want to do this?" He asked.

"El, it's an interrogation. I have done it hundreds of times trust me I can handle it. Please stop worrying about me." She responded walking closer to him.

"Then, stop giving me a reason to worry." He said under his breath.

"How could you say that to me? You think this is my fault?" Olivia stepped away from him.

"Well, you won't tell me what happened so I don't know who else to blame." He said.

"Whatever, let's do this." She replied and walked into the room before he could answer.

"Sorry to keep you waiting Mr. Calloway. We had some business to tend to." Olivia stated sitting in the chair across from him. He looked shaken. At that moment, Liv knew he would break quickly. "So what is your relationship to the Belvedere family?"

"They… I mean Charles and I are business partners. We have been close friends since college." He stuttered.

"Hmm… not so confident now are we?" Olivia laughed.

"I didn't hurt Angela. But, I know who did." He said.

"Really? And who is that?" Liv asked skeptically.

"Charles did."

"Why would he kill his own daughter?" Elliot jumped in.

"She knew too much. Charles and I were more than friends. We had been for years. If anyone ever found out our business would be at a huge risk. A couple of days ago we were at the office late and we got bored. Angela came to visit her father and saw us… well you know and she lost it threatening to expose us to her mother." He spilled his guts to them.

"So why should I believe that he killed her and you didn't? You just admitted to having a motive not to mention blaming your lover and best friend that is pretty low." Olivia stood up and moved closer to him.

"Hey, I am telling you the truth! He did it! He raped her and killed her!" Calloway stood to meet her gaze.

"Well, guess what? The rape was never released to the media or anyone. So how did you know that?" Olivia said moving an inch away from him and grabbing his throat.

"Liv, chill out for a second." Elliot said moving closer to them.

"Yeah, Liv, chill out." Calloway begged.

"Oh, you want me to chill out… you think I am going to chill out? You killed her admit it!" She slapped his face. "Just say it!" She yelled hitting him again.

"Okay, Okay I did it I killed her. She was going to out us!" He said. Olivia threw him on the ground and left the room.

"Olivia, what the hell was that?" Elliot asked following her.

"I got the confession, didn't I?" She turned around and crossed her arms.

"That confession will be completely inadmissible in court." Elliot shouted.

"So, sue me! I did my job." Olivia screamed as she walked toward her desk.

"You haven't been able to do your job all day!" Elliot responded.

"You have no idea what I have been through! I am handling it! So mind your own damn business and stay the hell away from me!" Olivia grabbed her coat and walked toward the elevator. She stopped dead in her tracks when she realized she had no place to go. Her apartment was just a reminder of the previous night's occurrences she couldn't go there. She ran into the women's bathroom. She fell down on her knees and wept in the handicapped stall. She cried for everything bad that had ever happened to her. Everything she had never really let go of. But, most importantly she cried for Elliot. She wanted to let him get inside her head and help her through this but, she had no idea how.

After a quick phone call Warner's office to get DNA results on the Belvedere case, Elliot was able to arrest Maxwell Calloway for the rape and murder of Angela Belvedere. Elliot was even able to get a legit confession out of him. This case was open and shut, which was exactly what the SVU team needed this week.

Olivia was sitting silently at her desk when Elliot finally left the interview room. He sat down across from her.

"You should get your hand looked at." He said.

She looked at her hand and shook her head. She looked up at him, licked her visibly dry lips and cleared her throat.

"I need to tell you something." She said. "It is really hard to talk about and I don't want to freak you out." She shifted in her chair waiting for his response.

Elliot took a deep breath and put on his best supportive friend face.

"Liv, whatever it is I am here. I am not going anywhere." As he said that his phone rang. He tried to ignore it.

"Answer it." Olivia said as tears ran down her face. Elliot shook his head and he picked it up and hung it up.

"Liv, talk to me. I want to help you." He had never seen her look so helpless.

"You never think it will happen to you. I have done this job for thirteen years and I never once thought it would happen to me." She said quietly.

"What happened to you, Liv?" Elliot knew the answer to his question. He clenched his fist as anger weld up inside him.

"He raped me, El." She broke down into sobs. Elliot walked over and held her close. "I should have said something earlier."

"Olivia, this is not your fault! Don't you dare blame yourself." She was shaking violently in his arms. "We can get trace evidence up to 48 hours after the attack, you know that."

"I showered three times this morning. I knew nobody would believe me." Olivia said between sobs.

"You know who did this to you?" Elliot asked. Olivia looked at her and nodded slowly.

"Tell me. I promise I will believe you." He responded. Olivia swallowed audibly and stood up.

"Nobody, forget I said anything." She walked down the stairs and walked out of precinct. She was livid. She began to run. She had no idea where she was going until she found herself outside the door of David's apartment. With her gun in her hand, she used the key he had given her to get in. She stood in front of him and aimed her gun.

"Liv, what is going on here?" David asked dropping his wine glass and throwing his hands up.

"You know exactly what you did to me?" She said her firing hand was steady but the rest of her body shook with fear and anger.

"I don't know what you're talking about. Can you please put the gun down and talk to me?" He said.

"No, she won't. David Haden, you are under arrest for the rape of Olivia Benson. You have the right to remain silent, anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to an attorney, if you can't afford one, one will be appointed to you. Do you understand these rights as I have read them to you?" Elliot came in and threw hand cuffs on David's wrists.

"I know my rights detective Stabler. Rape, you said I raped you?" David struggled as Elliot pulled him out of his apartment.

Olivia didn't move as Elliot arrested him.

"You coming, Liv?" Elliot called.

"Yeah, give me a second." She whispered.

She lowered her gun and she walked around the apartment where she spent most her nights for the past five months. She picked up a picture of her and David at Coney Island a few weeks ago. They were so happy. Suddenly she threw the photo on the ground shattering the frame. She picked up the picture and prepared to rip it to shreds instead she put it into her pocket. Then she followed Elliot down to their cars.


	6. Chapter 6

AUTHOR'S NOTE: IT'S FINALLY TIME TO BEGIN THE TRIAL. IT'S KIND OF HARD TO WRITE AN ACCURATE COURT SCENE SO BARE WITH ME. ALSO I HAVE DECIDED TO CHANGE THE TIEM WHEN THIS TAKES PLACE. IT IS NOW AS IF ELLIOT STAYED THROUGH SEASON 13 AND THIS IS SEASON 14. KEEP REVIEWING! AND ENJOY!

Chapter 14: You Can Take Everything I Have; You Can Break Everything I Am

It had been three months since Elliot arrested David Hayden on rape charges. Olivia paced outside the court room waiting for her case to be called. She had never been so nervous to enter a court room. However, a lot of things about this event had surprised. For example, she didn't lose her job as an SVU detective. In fact, Cragen allowed her to completely emerge herself in the job. Elliot had been totally supportive of her and she loved him for that. Olivia had felt like she was floating above herself since her attack. It was all so hard to fathom. She went to see Huang three times a week and she went to group therapy as well and it was helping but, she could never imagine herself ever moving on from this.

She sat down and wiped her sweaty hands on her skirt. She attempted to put her hair in a ponytail but, realized she forgot her hair tie. As she was about to give up she saw a hand pass her a hair tie. She didn't look up.

"Thanks." She said as she finished her hair.

"Liv, I am going to do my damnedest to ensure he gets put away for a long time." Alex Cabot was the ADA on the case considering it was still an SVU case.

"Alex, we have no evidence. Just hearsay. I am still surprised he was even her long enough to be arraigned. This is going to be a blood bath." She finally looked into the pity filled eyes of one of her colleagues. That was the thing she hated the most about this whole thing. Everybody treated her like glass as if she was going to break at any moment.

"Right," Alex hesitated. "I am not going to sit here and lie to you. This is going to be a tough trial. They are going to dig into past secrets about you that you don't even remember. They will question your character as well as your sanity. But, all you can do is stay strong." Alex grabbed Olivia's hands.

Olivia nodded slowly. Alex got up as soon as she saw Elliot approaching. In truth, Elliot was the last person Olivia wanted to be in the gallery. He swore he knew everything about her but, she knew that wasn't true. Everyone had things in their lives they were not proud of and didn't want the love of their lives to know.

Elliot said down silently next to her. Olivia stared straight ahead hoping he wouldn't speak.

"Are you okay?" He asked after what seemed like an eternity.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Olivia said. She had tears pooling in her eyes.

"Liv… I am so sorry this happened to you."

"Yeah, me too." She said finally making eye contact. She rested her head on his shoulder. As they sat quietly a woman walked towards them in a suit.

"Are you Detective Elliot Stabler?" She asked.

Elliot stood up quickly. "Yes, that's me." Both Liv and Elliot had been served before so they knew. However, they both prayed Elliot was a witness for the prosecution.

"You have been served." She smiled. Elliot carefully unfolded the blue papers. His face said all Olivia needed to hear. She was quickly reduced to tears.

"I won't do it. I'll plead the fifth." He said wrapping his arms around her. She quickly broke free.

"No you will be held in contempt. I will not be the one to ruin your career. That's not going to happen. Answer every question." She said angrily and walked into the courtroom.

"Docket ending 2345 the state of New York verses David Hayden." The court clerk announced. Olivia stood next to Alex attempting to keep her eyes forward.

"Your honor I would like to withdraw my previous claim to lack of council and instate a lawyer to speak on my behalf." David stated quickly.

"You have that right. Do you need a recess in order to brief your council?" The judge asked.

"No, your honor. My lawyer is very familiar with this case."

The judge nodded. When the rear doors of the court swung open Liv didn't move.

"Bayard Ellis for the defense your honor." At that point Alex saw Olivia's reaction.

"Your honor I object to the choice of council." Alex stated suddenly.

"On what grounds, Ms. Cabot?"

"He is a close personal friend of the victim. He may know things he can twist and use against her." Alex blurted out.

"Council approach the bench." The judge called.

"Your honor, I assure you my previous friendship with Ms. Benson was purely a professional courtesy."

"Alex, I am inclined to rule in Mr. Ellis' favor."

"Your honor, he went out of his way to help the DETECTIVE Benson's brother with a case just a few months ago."

"That was a case for personal gain. I had been working to get cases like his over turned and his was very close to what I needed to get my crusade some press coverage."

"Council, return to your benches." The judge stated. "I will allow, Bayard Ellis to represent David Hayden in this case."

Alex turned to Olivia and mouthed I'm sorry. Olivia shrugged her shoulders.

"Ms. Cabot, please call your first witness." The judge said.

"The prosecution calls Detective Olivia Benson to the stand." Alex said. Olivia jumped in her seat a bit. She stood, adjusted her skirt and walked toward the witness stand.

"Do you swear to tell the truth and nothing but, the truth so help you, God?" Olivia held her hand on the bible.

"I do."

"You may be seated." The judge said.

Olivia held the bible a few seconds longer as if she was praying subconsciously then she sat down.

"Detective Benson, can you tell the court what you remember from the night in question?" Alex asked.

"I was having trouble sleeping. So, I decided to go out for some air." Olivia began. She had the story memorized after having told it everyone in the precinct.

"And what time was that?"

"About three a.m. I know better than to go out alone that late."

"Detective Benson, this is not your fault. What happened next?"

Olivia took a deep breath closed her eyes and continued. "I was walking past my regular grocery store when I noticed someone breathing down my neck. I turned around in attempt to defend myself but, before I could the defendant had pinned me to the ground by the neck. He then proceeded to hit my head repeatedly against the concrete and dragged me into the alley. At that point I was barely conscious but, used all my strength to try and kick out of his pin. He pushed his knees against my legs and covered my mouth with his left hand. He wielded a knife in his right hand and held it to my throat. He said 'If you scream one more time I will kill you. I am not kidding I have nothing left to live for, I don't need to keep you alive.'" Olivia cried as she spoke. She told herself to stay strong but, that was easier said than done.

"Take a breath and then tell us what happened next." Olivia took three slow breaths, swallowed the knot that hadn't left her throat in months and continued.

"He ripped off my jeans. I started trying to scratch at every bare piece of skin. His arms started to bleed all over my shirt and I thought I had him. He forced himself… Inside of me and I sobbed. I didn't think he was wearing a condom but, apparently he was. Damn good condom." She joked in attempt to lighten the mood. "Anyway, after he was finished he took his knife and cut my face." She showed the scar which she had hidden with her bangs.

"How did you come to the conclusion that David Hayden was your rapist?" Alex asked.

"After he cut me asked why he was doing this to me and his answer said it all. He said 'Because this is how cheating whores should be treated.' I knew it was him instantly." Olivia's eyeliner ran down her face and yet she still looked perfect.

"Why would he refer to you as a cheating whore?" Alex asked in attempt to get everything out in the open.

"We had been dating for five months and earlier on the night in question I broke up with him in order to pursue another man. A man who had slept with the night before." Olivia admitted freely.

"Is he the only man you have cheated on?"

Olivia paused and looked at Elliot for a second. "Yes. I am human I make mistakes but, It was only one time."

"No, further questions, your honor. Your witness." Alex stated and returned to her seat. Olivia prepared herself for the shit storm that was about to occur.

"Ms. Benson-" Bayard Began

"It's Detective Benson." Olivia cut him off.

"Right, Detective Benson, as an officer with the Special Victims Unit how many rape cases have you dealt with?" He asked.

"It is impossible to give you an exact number. I have been on this job for thirteen years." She responded.

"More than a thousand?"

"Yes, I would say significantly more than that."

"And in your experience how often do the people who do the cheating get raped?"

"Objection, calls for speculation." Alex stood.

"Withdrawn." Bayard walked toward his table and grabbed a piece of paper. "Detective Benson, you didn't get a rape kit done until 36 hours after your attack correct?"

"Yes, that is correct."

"Why is that? You of all people know how important a rape kit is to a case."

"I actually had no plans to get a kit done. I had showered three times and the defendant had taken all of the DNA evidence from the scene."

"Really? So what changed your mind?"

"My partner convinced me to do it."

"You mean your boyfriend?" He asked.

"No, I said my partner and I meant my partner."

"Oh well, I just assumed because he was who you cheated on the defendant with that you guys were an item. It was Detective Stabler who slept with wasn't he?" Bayard asked.

"Um, that is irrelevant."

"You don't have the authority to make that conclusion." The judge piped in.

"Objection, your honor relevance?" Alex said.

"Goes to the witness's credibility" Bayard stated.

"Sustained." The judge replied.

"Going back to your rape kit. Why wasn't it submitted as evidence?" He continued.

"There were two types of semen found in my kit. Also, the defendant and I had relations the day before and thus it was deemed inadmissible." Olivia stated.

"Yes, according to this, one belongs to David Haden, your boyfriend at the time and the other was deemed unknown. How do we know if that second person was the rapist and David was just acting on his duties as boyfriend?"

"Because, I know to whom the second sample belongs. I know he did not rape me. I know that the defendant did."

"So you wouldn't mind if I read to whom it belongs to the court? It would be nice to let the jury in on your little secret."

"Do what you want. I can't change the past." Olivia said quietly.

"The second sample belongs to Detective Elliot Stabler. The victims partner of thirteen years." Bayard stated. "It seems he is just part of your sorted past with men, right?"

"I don't have a sorted past with men. I am married to the job so I have had a few boyfriends. There is nothing sorted about that. Who is the one on trial here my love life or a rapist?" Olivia called Bayard out.

"We will get back to your love life later on in the trial. But, for now we can move on. So you deal with rapists and rape victims on a daily basis correct?" He asked.

"Yes, I do."

"So you can say tell if a victim is actually a victim, yes?"

"I like to think that I can."

"What kind of things do you look for when you decide?"

"Emotional status, Facial expression, bruises, scarring and overall ability to focus." Olivia listed.

"Say I was directing a play and I asked you to play a rape victim. You could do it pretty easily?" He asked.

"I suppose. I don't understand where you are going with this." At that moment Olivia realized where Bayard was going with his defense. "You think I am making this up? Why would I do that?"

"Well, for example, you didn't actually break up with the defendant. Say he broke up with you and this is a revenge plot. You have all the know-how and every resource needed to pull off something so elaborate, not to mention you are one of the most convincing undercover officers on the force."

"Objection! Badgering!" Alex said.

"Overruled." The judge said.

"So, Detective Benson, what do you have to say about that?"

"I have no reason to have done that. I am a decorated detective with a spotless jacket."

"You mean a nearly spotless jacket."

"What does that mean?"

"May 2007. You aided a fugitive in avoiding a sexual assault charge."

"I was never charged for that. I turned him in to the FBI."

"Speaking of the FBI, you were charged with assaulting a police officer while undercover for them, correct?"

"Once again, I was never charged. I held my arm in a defensive position and the officer abused his power."

"November 2009. You were accused of murdering and mutilating a biker."

"Seriously, I was framed by a former perp."

"It seems you SVU detectives find yourselves in and out of trouble often."

"What is that supposed to mean?"

"Well, after looking through your jacket, your partner's jacket and all of the SVU detectives, I find that every single one of you have done something illegal."

"Really, then why aren't any of us under investigation?"

"Well, IAB was going to send ADA Haden into investigate you all. The announcement was to be made the day after your alleged attack."

"Your Honor, I request a continuance."

"On what grounds?"

"New evidence. This is the first we are hearing of this alleged investigation."

"So granted. We will meet again Monday at nine a.m. sharp."


	7. Chapter 7

AUTHOR'S NOTE: HEY GUYS HERE'S PART 7 WE CONTINUE THE TRIAL AND SEE WHAT SCHEMES ELLIS AND HADEN HAVE UP THEIR SLEVES. I AM REALLY ENJOYING WRITING THIS STORY SO KEEP READING AND REVIEWING. IT REALLY MAKES MY DAY TO SEE THE REVIEWS.

Chapter 15: Wake Up, Shake It Off, and Repeat

Olivia followed Alex into her office after the trial. Alex shut the door and motioned for Olivia to sit. She paced around and pulled her hair into a ponytail.

"Okay, I'll say it this is really bad." Olivia finally said.

"I am not going to lie this is not going to be an easy case to win now. I mean Bayard knows everything about you. He knows things I don't even know." Alex sat down violently.

"So, what do we have to do? I mean, do you have a plan?" Olivia asked tucking her hair behind her ear.

"Well, first we order take out because this is going to take a while." Alex said picking up her phone. Suddenly there was a knock at Alex's office door. "Come in."

Elliot walked in holding a manila envelope. His face looked annoyingly sympathetic.

"What is it, El?" Olivia asked.

"Your assistant told me to bring this in." He handed the envelope to Alex. Alex opened the envelope and looked confused at the paper in her hands.

"What? What is it?" Olivia asked visibly rattled.

"It's the witness list for your trial." Alex said and handed it to Olivia. She read it silently while Elliot read over her shoulder.

_ Det. Elliot Stabler, Capt. Donald Cragen, Sgt. John Munch, Det. Odifin Tutuola. Okay that seems right. _As she continued to read Olivia figured out exactly why Alex was confused. _Det. Brian Cassidy, Kurt Moss, Andy Eckerson, Michael Anderson, Nick Ganzner, Dean Porter and the list went on._

"Who are those people?" Alex asked once Olivia looked up.

"They are some of the people I slept with. Actually, they are most of the people I have slept with." She rested her head on her left hand and fanned herself with the list.

"Liv, there are 20+ names on that list." Elliot said.

"I am well aware of that, El." Olivia sassed without moving.

"Okay, I can handle this." Alex said quietly. She picked up her phone and quickly dialed a number. "Hello? Alex Cabot for Judge Peterson… Thank you… Judge Peterson I have an issue with Council's current defense plan for the David Haden case and I feel it is unethical… okay yes I will meet you in an hour." Alex hung up the phone and took her hair back down.

"What are you going to say?" Olivia asked.

"I am not sure. What I do know is Bayard Ellis has gone too far. Pinning a scarlet letter on a rape victim is a low trick even for him." Alex left her office and Olivia and Elliot followed her. It was going to be very difficult to convince the judge that Bayard was wrong for this case but, she needed a good reason. "Olivia, I need to know if there is anything about Ellis that I can use to get him off this case."

"Nothing that won't give the State Bar a reason to question his ethics and possibly disbar him." Olivia responded.

"If I am going to win this case I need your help. I need you to get mad and help me." Alex said. She motioned to Elliot to get lost. Elliot nodded and took the stairs rather than the elevator with them.

"You have no idea how mad I am. I am pissed the hell off but, causing someone to lose their job will not make me any less angry and it won't change what happened to me." Olivia said honestly.

"I am going to do my best. You go home get some rest and prepare for a bloodbath on Monday." Alex laughed and walked out the door.

Olivia stood alone in the lobby. She had not felt safe walking in the city after dark ever since David was let out on bail. Her bruises had lightened, her bones had healed, even the scar on her face was shrinking but, her mind was unstable as ever.

Against her better judgment she walked out onto the street. With her hand gripping her gun tightly, she began the five block hike from the DA's office to the precinct. What Olivia didn't know was that every night since David's release Elliot had followed Olivia everywhere she went. He was sure to stay at least 20 feet behind her. He spent his nights park outside of her house. Watching, waiting, almost hoping for David to show up.

As Olivia walked she heard footsteps behind her. She looked around quickly. She saw no one and the footsteps stopped. She took a deep breath and continued walking. A few seconds later the steps returned. She drew her gun and aimed at the shadow she saw.

"Put your hands where I can see them or I will shoot you." She shouted.

"Liv, it's me." Elliot said throwing his hands up and stepping out of the shadow.

"Elliot, what the hell are you thinking?" She yelled running toward him. She collapsed into his arms and he wrapped his arms around her. He could fell her heart racing as he held her.

"I am so sorry, Liv." He said quietly.

Suddenly a nagging sense of anger took over Olivia's body. She began to punch him repeatedly. Tears poured down her cheeks which were red from the cold wind. When she finally ran out of energy she stopped punching and fell to her knees.

Elliot crouched down and stroked her medium brown hair. She looked up at him and wiped her cheeks. The cold turned her breath fog as she tried to regain her composure. Elliot stood up and put his hand out. Olivia hesitated before accepting his help. She brushed the dry sidewalk salt off of her pants and began walking again. Elliot started to follow her she stopped and turned around.

"Don't follow me." She said.

"Come on, Liv." He said. Olivia drew her gun and aimed it at him.

"Don't follow me, Elliot Stabler!" She shouted. He stopped walking.

Chapter 16: All the Same I Miss You, Today Has Been Okay

Monday came faster than Olivia had hoped. She took her place next to Alex and prepared to face another day in court. Elliot sat in the back of the court room. They hadn't spoken all week aside from work related conversation. She was still so angry with him and knew he was probably angry with her.

"The defense calls Detective Elliot Stabler to the stand." Bayard stated. Olivia had missed her case being called and the entire opening statement. Elliot stood and buttoned his jacket. He walked slowly toward the stand. Once sworn in he took his place on the stand. He cleared his throat and brushed a piece of dust off his blazer.

"Detective Stabler, please state your relationship to the defendant." the judge asked.

"Well, quite frankly, I didn't know we had one. The victim is my partner and best friend but, ADA Haden and I have only spoken about work related things. I don't even what kind of car he drives." Elliot said.

Bayard stood up to question Elliot.

"Detective Stabler, I called you today simply as a character witness for the victim." He said calmly.

"That is an interesting tactic." Elliot replied.

"Well, thank you, I fancy myself a bit of an innovator." Ellis stated. Elliot chuckled. "Anyway, let's get down to business. Did you know about David Haden's relationship with Detective Benson?"

"No, they kept it a secret in order to protect their jobs while they decided if it was going to last." Elliot said.

"So, I am to guess that you had no idea they were engaged to be married?" Ellis questioned.

"No, I did not."

"Interesting. So your best friend didn't tell you about her relationship? A relationship that lasted five months I find that hard to believe."

"Well, I don't. We spend every day together but, we only discuss our personal lives if it is affecting the case." Stabler adjusted his tie.

"Okay, so if you could describe Detective Benson in a few words what would you say?" Ellis asked.

"Caring, warm, strong, beautiful." Elliot answered after a brief pause.

"Those aren't words one use to describe a cop in my experience."

"Well, she is one of a kind."

"It doesn't sound to me that you and Detective Benson are as hands off as you are trying to convince this court. I remind you that you are under oath before I ask my final question." Ellis stated. Elliot nodded. Olivia closed her eyes for fear of what was to come. "Are you in love with the victim?"

Elliot paused and looked at Olivia. The first time they had made eye contact in almost a week.

"Objection. Beyond the scope." Alex stated.

"Overruled." The judge replied quickly. "Answer the question, Detective."

"The bond a detective has with his partner is a complicated one. Especially as a Special Victims Detective. I would take a bullet for her and she for me, I would do anything to keep her safe, She is the godmother of my son, She was the maid of honor at my vow renewal and She was there for the birth of my son. We have been partners for thirteen years that is longer than anyone in the NYPD. So yes I love her." Elliot replied. Olivia gasped. The court broke into quiet rumblings.

"Order!" the judge called. The court died down quickly.

"No, further questions"

Alex stood up brushing the wrinkles out of her clothing.

"Detective Stabler, do you think that you and Detective Benson are a good team?" Alex asked.

"Yes, we have only collected nine cold cases in our time as partners. That is a 96% arrest rate. We could not have done that without having been perfectly in sync." Elliot replied. A smile appeared on Olivia's face.

"If your relationship were any different would you be such successful detectives?"

"We wouldn't be such successful human beings."

"No further questions."

"Detective Stabler, you may step down."

Olivia watched for the rest of the next two days while her co-workers took the stand and Ellis attempted to slander her name. By Wednesday, the witness list had been boiled down to only those men in Olivia's little black book. One by one they took the stand some bitter, others apologetic but, none of whom helped Bayard's case.

Alex and Olivia both smiled. The jury was still on their side. As the judge prepared to allow for closing arguments Bayard stood.

"Your Honor, the defense would like to add one more witness before the conclusion of the trial. A creepy smile appeared on David's face." Ellis handed a piece of blue paper to the judge.

"I'll allow it but, tread carefully." The judge said.

At that point the side door of the court room opened and Olivia's eyes started at the ground and skimmed upward. Cuffs circled his ankles, He was clad only in bright prison orange and his hands were cuffed too. Then their eyes met. It had been four years but, she would never forget his face.

He was sworn in quickly and took his seat.

"Please state your name to the court."

"Lowell Harris."

"Mr. Harris how do you know the victim?" Bayard asked.

"She went undercover as a prisoner at Sealview when I was a guard there." He answered.

"And why does she stand out in your memory?"

"She accused me of sexually assaulting and trying to rape her."

"Yet no charges were filed. Nobody even knew about this. Assault her?"

"No, Sir, I used the necessary amount of force for keeping a rouge prisoner in line."

Olivia's entire body shook violently. Tears dripped down her face. Her eyes stared through Lowell blankly.

"Detective Benson, are you alright?" the judge finally asked.

"Your Honor, the witness caused the victim to be diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The witness should have never been allowed to testify." Alex stood and argued.

"I am tempted to agree with Ms. Cabot." The judge stated.

"The defense has a right to exhaust all of their resources in this court." Bayard argued.

"Your Honor, at least, allow the victim to leave the court while Mr. Harris testifies." Alex pleaded.

"No, your honor, I am fine please continue." Olivia spoke up suddenly. She wiped her cheeks and looked at David. She knew that the only way to get a conviction was to listen.

"Proceed." The judge ordered.

"So why are you now serving 25 to life for rape and murder?" Bayard moved forward.

"I was accused of killing an inmate and raping her daughter." He answered shifting in his chair.

"You said accused. Does that mean you are innocent?"

"Yes. I was wrongfully convicted as a result of an overzealous detective."

"And that Detective… Is he or she in the courtroom today?" Bayard asked. Lowell nodded. "Who is that detective?"

"Detective Olivia Benson. She latched on to my guilt from the beginning and probably planted evidence."

"You can't plant a mole on someone's penis!" Olivia jumped up and shouted.

"Detective Benson, control yourself or you will be held in contempt." The judge shouted.

"I will not sit here at my rape trial and let my name be slandered! If that gets me thrown in lock up, so be it." Olivia continued. She held her wrists out toward the court officer.

"That is not neccisary, Detective. Mr. Harris you will step down. I am ready to hear closing arguments." The judge ordered. "Mr. Ellis, you may start us off." Bayard stood and buttoned his jacket he looked toward the judge and bowed his head respectfully.

"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, what we have here is a classic case of a break up gone bad. Detective Benson was obviously distraught from the break up. When her partner/lover noticed how depressed she was she had to make up a story. A story that included my client and an act of sexual abuse. Her job gives her all the information she could ever need to pull this off. Detective Benson's sorted love life leads us to believe this was the last straw and she lost it completely. So who will you believe? A well respected attorney of the law. One who's sole life purpose is to uphold and interpret the law. Or a renegade cop who uses her position to make sure the law works only in her favor. It is your choice but, please make the right one." He smiled and turned toward Olivia bowing his head, this time, in shame.

"Ms. Cabot, your argument, please." Alex took a deep breath and looked at Olivia who at this point had given up on getting a conviction. Alex knew what she had to do in order to get the jury back on their side.

"Mr. Ellis has brought up every mistake Detective Benson has ever made. He has brought up past lovers, past cases and even past co-workers. But, has he mentioned any reason why Mr. Haden is not a rapist. No. He has just done his best to make the victim wrong but, since when do we blame a victim? It is unethical. Detective Benson volunteered to spend 13+ years of her life dealing with victims of rape, sexual assault, incest, physical, mental and emotional abuse. She has had her throat slit, been shot at, held hostage, poisoned with mushrooms and witnessed multiple deaths all in order to make sure when you walk out of this courthouse today you are safer than when you walked in. But, did Mr. Ellis mention any of that? He also didn't mention how very little ADA Haden has done to improve the city. Last month alone Olivia arrested six of the nine convicted rapists in her jurisdiction meanwhile, ADA Haden took a two week vacation to the Bahamas. Detective Benson has not been on vacation since she began working with the SVU. So when considering your decision please think about that information." Alex returned quietly to her seat and nobody moved for just a few seconds.

"The jury will deliberate and we will reconvene once they have reached a verdict." The judge said and she banged her gavel loudly. The court began to stir and exit. Olivia didn't move. Soon she was alone in the courtroom. She knew going into this trial that a conviction was not likely and yet for just a second she let herself hope. As she contemplated how she would ever feel safe again with David on the street, she heard a man clear his throat in the back of the court room. She turned her head knowing already who it was.

"I am sorry." He said as he walked toward her.

"I know." She said turning in her chair. "You know it's weird."

"What?"

"For the first time in my 44 years on Earth I know exactly what happened in this part of my life story. For years I have been struggling to fill in the gaps but, this time I know exactly what happened and there is absolutely nothing I can do about it." Olivia looked at Elliot and smiled. "He did this and he is going to walk and then what?"

"You move forward."

"You know that is a lot easier to say when you are on the outside."

"Liv, I am not on the outside. I haven't slept since you told me about David. I have been going out of my mind trying to make sure you were safe. I am never on the outside when your safety is threatened." Elliot sat in the chair where Alex sat during the trial.

"El, I can't keep dragging you down with me."

"Olivia, I am not going anywhere. We are all we have."

"Well, your wife and five kids probably don't agree. Just because you left her doesn't mean those relationships go away."

"I am doing the best I can."


	8. Chapter 8

AUTHOR'S NOTE: IT'S TIME TO HEAR THE VERDICT. GET YOURSELVES READY TO HEAR IT. ALSO, WE CAN SEE SOME E/O STUFF HERE. I ALSO DIDN'T REALLY WANT TO PUT TOO MUCH SAD LIV SO I DID A FAST FORWARD. ENJOY AND AS ALWAYS COMMENT AND REVIEW

"And the best you can do is be my partner again. Nothing more, nothing less." Olivia said. Every piece of her body wanted to jump on top of him and never let him go. For a few minutes they were silent. Neither of them dared to move or even breathe too loudly.

Suddenly Elliot stood up and pushed his chair out of the way. He grabbed Olivia's hand and pulled her outside of the courthouse and hailed a cab. They rode in the cab for fifteen minutes. Olivia spent the entire time asking where they were going. The cab stopped in front of a lamp post in the middle of the street. Elliot and Olivia got out of the cab.

"Do you know where we are?" Elliot asked.

"Honestly? Not a clue."

"This where we started our first case together. You remember Victor Spicer?" Elliot said. Olivia began to laugh. She could not believe he had brought her here.

He reached into his jacket pocket and pulled a black, oblong necklace box. The box was dusty and appeared to be very old.

"You know this was my mom's." he said pointing to the box. "She told me not to give it to anyone who's name was not Olivia Benson. So I figured I might try doing one thing she told me to." Olivia's hands covered her mouth. He put a gold locket around her neck.

"Elliot, I can't take this."

"Yes you can I am giving it to you. You are the only person who has always been there for me. No matter what stupid shit I have done you are always here."

"El, thank you. For everything." Olivia said after a few seconds of silence. Elliot smiled.

"No matter how this trial ends I need you to know that I believe everything you said. David is guilty."

Olivia began to cry. She knew that this trial was not likely to end in a conviction and hearing Elliot agree made it all far too real.

"I know. This is just so hard. For years I have pretended that I could handle anything. I have ignored all the shit life has thrown at me. But, I don't think I can ignore it anymore." Olivia admitted to him as she grasped her necklace.

"The good ones always get what they don't deserve. You, Olivia, are one of the good ones. You deserve better than what you get but, you are strong. I believe in your ability to move forward no matter the outcome."

"Yeah." Olivia whispered. She nodded as tears streamed down her face. Just then her phone began to ring. "Hello… yeah… I will be there in fifteen minutes… yeah… okay, bye." Olivia wiped her tears with her sleeve. "That was Alex. The jury is back with their decision."

They rode the same taxi back to the courthouse. Olivia ran up the stairs and suddenly she stopped.

"What?" Elliot asked as he caught up with her.

"I can't go in there." She looked at him. Her eyes still hadn't recovered from her earlier cries.

"Yes you can, Liv." Elliot said. "Just stay strong. I will be right behind you."

Olivia nodded, took a deep breath and proceeded to the courtroom. She walked in first Elliot followed soon after. Alex, Bayard, David, the judge and the jury were all in their place. Olivia quickly sat next to Alex.

The bailiff handed the verdict to the judge. The judge nodded cautiously. Olivia bowed her head in defeat.

"Foreman, has the jury reached a verdict?" The judge spoke.

"We have, your Honor." The foreman answered quickly.

"On the first count of the indictment, Rape in the first degree, how do you find?"

"We find the defendant, guilty."

Olivia looked around until her eyes met Elliot's. His smile was a mile wide. Olivia was completely and utterly shocked.

"And on the second count of the indictment, attempted murder of a police officer, how do you find?"

"We find the defendant, guilty."

The court erupted in chatter. David's head fell onto the table in front of him. The judge banged his gavel three times.

"Order! Order!" Things quickly calmed down again. "I have decided I will pronounce sentence now, rather than waiting for a separate sentencing hearing. Will the defendant please rise for sentencing?" David looked up carefully and stood slowly. His entire attitude had changed. "David Haden, you have single handedly set back law enforcement at least a decade. However can we expect the American people to trust us when there are creeps like you running around? I have never in my life been so ecstatic to hear a guilty verdict in my career. I sentence you to 25 years to life at Sing Sing Correctional Facility to begin immediately. Court is dismissed." The judge banged his gavel just once and quickly exited the bench.

Olivia collapsed into tears. Elliot wrapped his arms around her. For the first time in four months she finally felt perfectly safe. She continued to cry as the court room cleared. She watched David be dragged away in cuffs.

"I'm free. I can finally breathe again." Olivia whispered to Elliot.

"I know."

Chapter 17: If You'd Be Open To Starting Over From Scratch

The month of November flew by and soon it was the week before Christmas. Olivia had been in therapy four days a week since the trial ended and she was finally feeling like herself again. She was able to do her job and be a good partner to Elliot. Things were finally looking up.

It was Monday and Olivia decided to go into the office early. She had forgotten to write up a DD5 for her most recent booking and thought she might get a jump on getting it done. She got to the office and Elliot was already at his desk.

"Morning." She said as she put her things on her desk. She didn't feel like going to her locker quite yet.

"Hey. You're here early. What's up with that?" He responded placing his hands behind his head.

"I could ask you the same question. I forgot to type up my DD5 for the Monroe arrest last night." She said turning on her computer and sitting down.

"Yeah, I couldn't sleep all this holiday spirit is getting to me, I guess." He shrugged.

"Yeah, that makes sense." Olivia answered sarcastically.

"Oh shut up." Elliot laughed. Just then Olivia's desk phone rang.

"Benson… Yeah I will accept the charges… Hello… why are you calling me?... No… I not going to do that… because I can't… why?... fine… yeah give me an hour… okay, bye." Olivia hung up the phone and stared at the phone for a minute.

"Is everything okay?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah, I just have something to do. Can you cover for me with Cragen? I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important." Olivia asked.

"Yeah, of course."

"Thanks." She said as she jogged out the door.

Olivia sat in her car outside of Sing Sing. She couldn't remember why she had agreed to do this. After twenty minutes she finally got out of the car and walked toward the building. After breezing by security, she waited in the interview room. She bit the skin off the side of her thumb as she waited nervously.

Soon she heard the jingle of cuffs and decided she was making a huge mistake. She stood up and walked to the far side of the cage. He walked in quietly and looked at her. When their eyes met Olivia twitched subconsciously.

"You look nice." He said.

"Thanks."

"You're welcome." Then there was a silence. Soon Olivia spoke.

"Why did you ask me to come here?"

"I needed to see you. To make sure you were okay."

"Well, I am fine. No thanks to you."

"I am so sorry."

"I have had to completely rebuild myself. I am still not the same person. I can't walk down the street at night without my hand on my gun. I can't sleep in my room because there is a window in there. You broke me."

"I don't expect you to forgive me. I don't even expect you to forget me but, I want you to be able to do whatever it is you need to. Hit me; yell at me, whatever it takes. I just want you to feel okay."

"A month ago I would have killed you where you stood. I would have relished in your demise. But now, now I have found closure. I have forgiven you. Not for you but, for me and for my future." Olivia said the words that took almost two months to say but, she needed to say them. "I am not over this. I will have to struggle for the rest of my life. But, I forgive you." She grabbed her coat and signaled to the C.O.

"Olivia, tell Elliot how you feel about him. You deserve to be happy." She nodded and smiled just a little bit.

Olivia walked down the dark hallway toward the exit and felt different. She was moving closer to acceptance every day. As her therapist had said multiple times, the only way to move on is to accept what has happened. Olivia had loathed that idea for weeks but, now she understood what she meant.


	9. Chapter 9

AUTHOR'S NOTE: ALRIGHT I KNOW IT HAS BEEN A LONG LONG TIME. I AM SO SORRY I COULDN'T DECIDE WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THE STORY BUT, NOW I AM BACK AND READY TO GIVE YOU SOME MORE. I HOPE YOU LIKE THE UP COMING TWIST. IF NOT THEN I WILL BE SAD SO … PLEASE LIKE IT LOL. REVIEW AND ENJOY !

Chapter 18: It's Too Cold Outside For Angels To Fly

Olivia returned to the precinct and threw her jacket on the back of the chair. She walked toward Cragen's office where all the other detectives were gathered.

"Sorry I am late. What's up?" She said as she walked in the door.

"Guys, can you give us a minute?" Cragen asked. Everyone filed out of the office. "Why were you at Sing Sing today?"

"I had some personal business to tend to." She answered as she sat across from him.

"There is no easy way to tell you this…" Cragen began. Olivia knew that she was not going to like what came next. "They are overturning his conviction."

"On what grounds?"

"On the grounds that he is not the man who raped you. Security cameras at an ATM in Jersey put him there at the time of your attack. The camera was not working during the trial so they assumed it had been out of order for a while but, it broke three days after the night of your attack." Cragen explained.

"What have I done?" Olivia said after a brief pause.

"You couldn't have known, Liv. We all liked him for it."

"I ruined a man's life. I … I don't know what to say. I pride myself on my ability to use my gut. If I don't have my gut I have nothing."

"Well, honestly, you are one of my best detectives. You have always done what you felt was right. I can't tell you what to say. What I can tell you is your case is cold now. We have no more leads."

"Well, it's not like I would be able to get conviction if we had a lead."

"What do you mean?"

"My credibility is shot. This is over. I might as well just pretend it never happened."

"Olivia, I will never stop searching for the man who raped you. But, I can't let you bottle it up. It's not healthy."

"I know. I went to talk to him today." She took a deep breath. "He acted like he was guilty. He apologized to me. How do you explain that?"

"I can't. Maybe after all this he is convinced he did or If I had to guess I would say he was apologizing for something else."

"Yeah." Olivia whispered as tears poured down her cheeks still pink from the New York City winter.

"Liv, this isn't over."

"Yes it is. I want to move on. I am going to live my life." She said as she stood. She wiped her eyes and brushed the wrinkles out of her shirt. She walked out of Cragen's office.

As she prepared to sit down at her desk and finish her paperwork, Olivia realized she would forever have to deal with sympathetic eyes watching her. She tried to keep her eyes on her computer but, she could feel eyes watching her. Suddenly she stood up, throwing her pen on the desk.

"Can I help you people? No? then everybody please stop staring at me. I am fine. I promise. Just please let me move on." She yelled. Everyone quickly looked away and went about their business, everyone but Elliot. He smiled at her.

"What?" She asked

"I like this you." He answered.

"Oh yeah? I am glad you enjoy it." She chuckled.

"But, seriously, how are you doing?"

"I am actually okay. In fact, I am better than I have been in a long time."

"Yeah? Good. I am glad. So, what are you up to after work?"

"I am not sure. Why?" She smiled coyly.

Chapter 19: For Once in My Life I Have Someone Who Needs Me

Olivia sat in her apartment later that night. She ate her last bite of Chinese food and slumped back on the couch. She watched an episode of Friends while half asleep. Just as she was about fall asleep her doorbell rang. She jolted awake and jumped up. Walking toward the door, she pulled her hair into a ponytail. Normally, she would have checked who was at the door before opening it but, this time she swung the door open as she checked her watch.

"Hi." David stood at her door. He looked shy and depressed but, most of all he looked sorry.

"Um, what are you, uh, what are you doing here?" she asked opening the door wider inviting him in. He walked in slowly and shut the door behind him.

"I had to come see you. I had to explain."

"Explain what?" She asked as she poured two glasses of wine. She handed one to David.

"Thanks." He said taking a sip from the glass. "Ellis. He made me believe I was guilty. I spent three months hearing from everyone around me that I was this dirty perv who stole a piece of your soul. At one point during the trial I started to think. 'What if I did do it?' and suddenly I thought of every possible scenario in which I could have done it."

"How could you have…? I mean don't you think you would remember committing a felony?"

"After you broke up with me I hit the bar… I hit the bar hard. I barely remember waking up the next day." He admitted placing his glass on the coffee table.

"How can you look me in the eyes and expect me to believe you? Why should I ever trust you again?" Olivia asked muting the television.

"You cheated on me. Before all of this mess. And I still love you." David looked her in the eyes for the first time in months. Olivia stood up and backed away from the couch.

"You can't say that."

"What?"

"You can't tell me that you love me."

"Why not? Why can't I tell you how I feel?"

"Because I am… I mean this is… I can't" Olivia said as David moved closer to her. He kissed her. At first she was okay with it but, suddenly she thought about Elliot and she slapped him quickly. "You have to leave."

David nodded and headed toward the door before leaving he stopped.

"What?" Olivia asked as she wiped her smeared lipstick.

"Nothing. I just wish things were different."

"Yeah, me too." Olivia whispered as he walked out the door.

Olivia fell onto the couch and took a deep breath. She smiled subconsciously when she thought about David. As she attempted to decide what to do her phone rang.

"Benson."

"Hey Liv, what are you up to?"

"El, it is after midnight. I am sleeping." She lied.

"Oh right… sorry. I can't sleep."

"Come on over. I'll be here all night."

"Thanks, Liv. See you in a bit."

Olivia hung up the phone and sighed audibly. She laid on the couch and closed her eyes. She felt so unsure about her life and yet she loved the thrill of the chase.


	10. Author Note

Hey guys sorry it has been so long I have been dealing with somethings but I promise you all I will have a new, awesome chapter ready to go for you guys by Tuesday Night. Thanks for reading and I am sorry.


	11. Chapter 11

AUTHOR'S NOTE: SO HERE WE GO. WE FINALLY MAKE IT BACK AROUND TO THE REASON ELLIOT RETIRED IN CHAPTER ONE. ALSO WE BEGIN TO SEE WHO LIV IS GOING TO CHOOSE. ENJOY AND REVIEW.

Chapter 20: I Remember the Way That We Touched I Wish I Didn't Like it So Much

Olivia awoke what seemed like seconds later to Elliot's voice.

"Liv… are you awake?" He whispered.

"Huh… oh… hi." Olivia sat up sleepy eyed. Elliot handed her a cup of cookie dough ice cream. She smiled. "thanks." She walked into the kitchen looking for spoons. She looked at the pile of dirty dishes stacked in the sink and shrugged. "So what brings you to my side of town?" She asked.

Elliot pulled a pair of plastic spoons from his pocket. Olivia chuckled and took one from his hand.

"Well, I was bored and couldn't sleep. You can only watch so many episodes of Friends before you go crazy." He responded with a chuckle.

"Yeah I hear ya. I was watching the same thing." Olivia said as she enjoyed sharing an ice cream with Elliot.

"Liv." Elliot said suddenly as he looked around the room.

"Yeah, El" she replied without looking up from the ice cream.

"Who was here with you tonight?"

"No one… why do you ask?"

"There are two empty wine glasses sitting here."

"Yeah, so what I had a couple of drinks. It's not a big deal, El." She lied to Elliot for fear of what he might do if he knew about David.

"You had him in your house?"

"What? Who?"

"Olivia. He admitted to raping you. The DA overturns his conviction and less than twelve hours later he is in your house."

"El, can I explain please?"

"Did you sleep with him?"

"What? No. why would ask that?"

"Well, you seem to have trouble being around a man and not sleeping with him so I thought I'd ask." Elliot shouted. He threw a pillow at the wall. There was a shocked silence between them. Olivia looked at the ground. "I am sorry that was uncalled for." Elliot finally said.

"No. It's fine. I have to be in court at eight so I think it's best if you leave before I try to sleep with you too." Olivia stood up slowly.

"Liv, I am sorry. Can we please talk?" Elliot said.

"You know what, El? I am all talked out. I will put in a formal request for a new partner in the morning. You can be done with my hooker ass then."

"That is not what I meant. I am just angry. I didn't mean to say that."

"What gives you the right to be angry with me?"

"Every decision I have made for the past thirteen years, career wise personally or otherwise, I have made it with you in mind. I left my wife and children for you. I don't eat shellfish anymore because you don't like the way it smells. That green shirt Kathy bought me for my birthday I threw it away because you hated it. You are the person I want to tell first when I hear good news. Yours is the shoulder I want to cry on when something bad happens. It's always you. So yeah, I think I have the right to be angry." Elliot bared his soul to the beast as Liv clutched a throw blanket tightly to her chest.

"You don't get to do that. You can't tell me that stuff. I can't handle knowing that right now." Olivia admitted after a brief pause.

"Why not?"

"Because I have a lot of important decisions to make and I can't have you breathing down my neck." Elliot looked at her carefully, then sat down next to her.

"You are seriously thinking of getting back together with him?"

"I don't know, El. I just know I can't keep sitting around waiting for my life to change. I want a husband and children and a house with a yard. You had that and I made you give that up. I can't have that on my conscience." Olivia began to cry quietly.

"I don't blame you for what happened between Kathy and I."

"Yeah." She sighed and wiped her tears. "You should go."

Elliot nodded and headed towards the door. Once again Olivia was left alone and it was all she could do not to completely break down.

Chapter 21: Just Know You're Not Alone, I'm Gonna Make This Place Your Home

"That was last night. So yes it is my fault that he retired." Olivia looked at Captain Cragen after telling him everything she had thought and felt since the week of her rape four months ago.

"I think that you have been on your own for too long. You think that you are the only one who affects anything in your life. That's not true, Liv. You can't expect everything to turn out exactly how you plan." Cragen said after taking everything in he had just heard.

"I have spent the past four months in hell. I am not sure about anything in my life. Do have any idea how that feels?"

"I don't. But, I do know how it feels to lose someone you love and by proxy lose everything else."

"I… um… I have to go."

"Liv, don't make the wrong choice."

Olivia nodded and walked toward her desk. She stopped in front of Elliot's desk. She had sat across from him every day for thirteen years and yet now everything was becoming clear. Suddenly she knew exactly what to do. She took her phone out of her pocket and dialed speed dial number 3

"Hey, can you meet me at the coffee shop across from the precinct? It's important." She said quietly. As she hung up the phone Elliot walked in with a cardboard box.

"Hey, I …um… I"

"Don't. I will call you later." She interrupted as she rushed out the door leaving Elliot alone.


	12. Chapter 12

AUTHOR'S NOTE: WELL HERE IT IS. THE FINAL CHUNK OF THE STORY. HOW WILL IT END? READ AND ENJOY. NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS I THINK WE ALL WANT LIV TO BE HAPPY AND SHE DOES END UP HAPPY. SORRY IF OU DON'T LIKE HOW IT ENDS BUT, I DID WHAT SEEMED RIGHT. ENJOY AND REVIEW.

Chapter 22: Now Your Just Somebody That I Used To Know

Olivia sat in the coffee shop staring blankly at cup of black coffee. She had always been the type of woman who would make a decision quickly and stick to it completely. So much had changed about her over the year but, her ability to run her own life was still strong. She poured some sugar into the coffee and stirred it absent mindedly. She jumped when the door finally opened. David walked in; his smile was a mile wide.

"I am so glad you called me." He said as he gave a now standing Olivia a long hug.

"Me too. Here have a seat. Do you want some coffee?" She asked quietly.

"No thanks I just finished my third cup of the day and I have to pace myself." He said with a chuckle.

"Right."

"Liv, before you called me I feared we would never be us again. I knew I couldn't live without you but, I am so glad I don't have to now."

"Right… Here's the thing. I can't choose you. I wish I could but, I have loved Elliot for thirteen years. I have dreamed of the day when I could call him mine every night for as long as I can remember. Even when I hate him, he is all I can think about. You deserve to be with someone who can focus one hundred percent of their love on you and I could never give you that. When I picture my future I see myself looking out on a yard with my two children, sipping coffee and held in the arms of my husband… but I never imagine those to be your arms."

David stared at her carefully. He appeared to contemplate every word she had just said. The silence was absolutely agonizing. Olivia stood up and placed a five dollar bill on the table and grabbed her coat.

"Olivia."

"Yeah."

"Merry Christmas."

"You too." She left him sitting alone and headed back to the precinct.

Chapter 23: I'm Thinking Something Like Olivia Is What I Need To Find

Olivia was lucky enough to have more than a little paperwork to do before the winter holidays began. She spent the day on desk duty staring at Elliot's old desk. When they had first met her heart literally skipped a beat however, three minutes later she met Kathy. She knew then things were going to be complicated. She couldn't imagine her life without him.

For the first time in her entire career, Olivia left as soon as Cragen told her to go home for the night. She stopped first at her apartment to get herself together. She put on her heels for the first time in years, aside from undercover work of course. She looked in the mirror and smiled.

"Nicely done." She said aloud.

She drove quickly toward Elliot's apartment. When she finally got there she came to a scary realization. She had no idea what to say to him. She knew exactly what she wanted to hear from him but, had no idea how to make him say it. She sat in her car for a few moments longer and then she stood on the stoup for another fifteen minutes. Finally, she pushed the buzzer attached to the name Stabler. The door unlocked quickly. She walked into the foyer and her heels clicked on the linoleum floor.

She decided to take the stairs giving her more time to think. Elliot lived on the eighth floor and so Olivia ended up taking her heels off on floor three. After four more flights and a few steps down the hall she stood in front of his door. She returned her shoes to her feet.

Olivia looked at the door and studied it carefully. She noticed it was slightly open. She took her gun out of her purse and went directly into detective mode. She slowly opened the door and called out for Elliot. The absence of light or response sent shivers down her spine. She crept around the corner, having never been to Elliot's new place she felt completely out of her element. Her hands shook as she aimed her gun. As she moved toward what she assumed was the bed room she saw what appeared to be candle light. She jumped around the corner and aimed her gun at a surrendering Elliot.

"What the hell are you doing? I thought you were dead!" Olivia shouted after she calmed down.

"Well I am not. Sit down." He gestured towards the bed.

"You think it's that easy to get me into bed?" She chuckled.

"Just sit down."

"Okay, Fine." Olivia sat on the edge of the bed. "Now what?"

"Just hold on a sec." Elliot replied as her poured two glasses of champagne. He handed one to Olivia and then downed his entire glass.

"Easy tiger." Liv said. "What is with you?"

"Nothing…I am just nervous."

"Why? I should be the nervous one. I mean, who knows if you're going to take me back or shut me down or who knows and…" As Olivia babbled she failed to Elliot change his position. He was now kneeling before her. "What are you doing on the ground? Did you drop something?" Olivia bent down to help him look.

"No, no. Just sit back down." She sat with her hands in her lap and looked at him carefully realizing what was about to happen.

"El… what…I mean…Um."

"Liv, I love you"

"I love you too."

"I have loved you since the moment I met you and I know you feel the same."

"I do."

"Liv, Can you just let me you know do this?" Elliot said.

"Right. Yeah go for it. I will shut up." She chuckled.

"Anyway. You and I have been though some of the toughest things two people can go through and we are still us. Today I retired. I retired so that we can continue to be us forever. So, Olivia Benson, will you marry me?" Elliot pulled a perfectly Liv ring out of a velvet box. Olivia stared at him. "Liv?"

"Huh? I mean are you sure you want all this crazy for the rest of your life?"

"My life wouldn't be complete without it."

Olivia smiled and nodded feverishly as tears poured down her cheeks.

"This is perfect." She whispered as she hugged him

"No, you are perfect."

THE END

AUTHOR'S NOTE: SO THERE IT IS. I HOPE YOU LIKED IT. IF YOU DIDN'T THEN DON'T FRET. I HAVE DECIDED TO WRITE A LIVID STORY NEXT AND IT SHALL BE DELIGHTFUL I HOPE YOU ALL WILL READ AND REVIEW MY FUTURE STORIES AND THANK YOU FOR HELPING ME WITH THIS ONE.


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